Shameful (The Shameless Trilogy Book 2) Read online

  Mother. Fucker.

  Brutal, sharp, electrifying pain took over Noah’s world. Bright lights shone behind his eyes, and he struggled to keep it together. Scrambling for his discarded weapon on the floor, he fired, grateful he’d thought to put on the silencer.

  The guy darted glances between Noah and Lucia, attempted to go for her, but Noah wasn’t having that and he raised the gun again. Instead of going out the front door as Noah would've assumed, the guy jumped directly out of the open living room window. What the— Noah scrambled to his knees, his balls screaming at him to stop whatever the fuck he was doing and just lie down.

  He was used to pain. What he was feeling now was nothing in comparison to what he would feel if he lost her. He forced himself to stand and staggered to the window. He looked around first but saw nothing. It was only when he looked straight down that he saw the guy clinging to a rope, rappelling down. So he’d had a plan for escape. He had likely been here earlier setting up that hook, planning his escape.

  But why mess with the cameras? And when? Fuck, unless he’d been there before scouting. It was probably because he knew he would have to take out whoever was outside. There’s no way the security alarm wouldn't have gone off and no way Ryan wouldn’t have heard him rumbling around in here.

  Ian was right. Someone was trying to hurt her.

  Lucia ran to him. "Noah, oh my God. Are you okay?"

  He wanted to lean into her caress, wanted to wrap her in his arms and hold her there, never letting her go, but he couldn't. It was too dangerous.

  "What part of stay outside and guard Ryan did you not understand? Everyone has a job. I gave you yours. Next time, don't come in."

  She stared up at him, bottom lip quivering. "I just saved your ass."

  "You had a job. You failed it. What if he had a second guy out there and Ryan's dead now?"

  Horror crossed her expression and she glanced toward the door. "Oh my God. I just heard the fight in here. And I wanted to—"

  "You have three minutes. Grab anything you think you'll need for at least the next two weeks. It's time to go. We're going to my place. We've already been here too long.”

  He didn't want to hear her apologize. He didn't want to hear her say that she worried about him, because those words would soften his stance. Being soft, caring about her too much, would get them both killed.

  chapter two

  EXHAUSTION WARRED WITH nerves as Lucia threw clothes hurriedly into a duffel bag. Later she’d no doubt be annoyed by the jumble of clothes but at the moment the only thing she cared about was getting out of there. Even with Noah watching her from the hallway, she felt exposed. Vulnerable.

  Someone had been inside her home. Touching her stuff. Waiting for her. Waiting to kill her. For what? What had she ever done to anyone?

  Her breath caught as she imagined this nameless, faceless man walking around her room, touching her things. Would he have waited in here until she was going to bed? Perhaps stayed hidden until she undressed? Or even waited until she was asleep? The possibilities were endless and each more terrifying than the last. If it hadn’t been for Noah’s dogged insistence on not leaving her alone, she would have been completely at this unknown man’s mercy.

  That was also something she’d have to contemplate later. All this time she’d been so annoyed by Noah’s overprotectiveness and had assumed it was just because he enjoyed tormenting her. But clearly he knew something she didn’t.

  “Lucia, you have to move. Come on, baby.”

  She blinked in surprise. She stood frozen in place holding a damn T-shirt. What the hell was wrong with her? She couldn’t move. Before she knew it, her body was shaking and tears were streaming down her face.

  Noah dragged her to him. “Lulu, baby, I’m sorry. I am. This sucks. The whole thing is shitty. But I am going to protect you. I know you don’t believe me right now, but you’re safe with me. I will die before I let anything happen to you. Do you believe me?”

  Dragging in the wracking sobs, she lifted her gaze to meet his. She must be losing her mind, because in that moment, she believed him. He would give his life to keep her safe. “I believe you.”

  “Good. Now, that’s all we have time for. Let’s go.” Noah zipped up the bag and threw it over his shoulder. “Come on.”

  She didn’t argue, just dropped the handful of T-shirts she hadn’t had the chance to pack on the bed and followed him out. Noah’s eyes never stopped moving as they walked back through the living room and she had no doubt that he was completely on guard for anything that might happen.

  She didn’t have to know a lot about security to be aware that staying here any longer than necessary was a bad idea. Not to mention that they needed to get help for Ryan.

  Her heart squeezed as she remembered how he’d looked, all bruised and bent. Poor Ryan. She didn’t know him well but he’d always been nice to her. He wasn’t much older than she was and had a gentle smile.

  Like the others, he moved like a guy who was comfortable in his body and very likely was a badass. He didn’t deserve what had happened to him. He’d just been looking out for her. Hopefully his wounds looked worse than they were. Lucia swallowed, knowing that was unlikely. He’d looked pretty bad.

  When they emerged from the apartment, she immediately saw Jonas talking to the EMTs who had already lifted Ryan onto a stretcher. Noah held up a hand and she halted. He whispered something to Jonas and then clapped him on the shoulder.

  “I got this, man. I’ll see you at the loft later.” Jonas nodded to her gravely as they passed. “You all right, Lucia?”

  “Yep. You know, just a normal day. A homicidal maniac tries to kill me and my friends.”

  He winced imperceptibly. “We’ll get him, Lucia. And then me and the guys will take turns holding him down while Noah makes him less of a man.”

  She gave him a wan smile then followed blindly as Noah led her downstairs. She vaguely catalogued the heavy weight of his arm around her shoulders and the gentle squeeze of his hand as he helped her into the Range Rover. It was like she was moving through quicksand; all her limbs felt awkward and too heavy to lift. Seeing her trouble, Noah grasped her by the waist and lifted her into the seat. He glanced at her tentatively, probably expecting her to be annoyed that he hadn’t asked permission.

  Under any other circumstances, Lucia would have found it amusing. Today, however, she was just grateful he was there. For once, his overbearing attitude was actually comforting. It was a relief not to be responsible for anything and to allow him to handle it all. When she didn’t say anything his frown deepened but he didn’t speak until after they were on the road.

  “You’re very quiet.” Noah slid his gaze over to her.

  “I’ve never had anyone try to kill me before. I popped my almost-killed cherry, so there’s that.”

  Noah glanced over at her sharply and she bit her lip. It wasn’t his fault, but she wished there was someone to blame. She needed a scapegoat right about now. Anything to avoid thinking about how her own actions had led to this moment.

  “I’m sorry.” She shook herself. “I shouldn’t—”

  Noah shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize.”

  “Yes, I do. I’m being so bitchy, and for the first time ever, you don’t deserve that. You’re being really nice to me and I don’t know what to do with that.”

  His smile made her feel a little better but he didn’t offer any other reassurances. Probably because there were none to be had. They had no idea who had broken into her place and until Jonas reported back, they couldn’t be sure that Ryan would recover. She kept her eyes on the road, watching all the streets speed by, until they took yet another turn and she realized they weren’t going to his office after all.

  “So where are we going?”

  Noah glanced over at her briefly. “The office. But I have to make sure we don’t have a tail first.”

  Lucia glanced behind them. “I don’t see anyone.”

  “And if they’re go
od, you won’t see them.”

  It wasn’t that late yet so there were still plenty of other cars on the road. How could he even tell if someone was following them? What about when she had to go to work tomorrow? There was no way she could miss it. It was Adriana’s first show and they’d been working on this all year. But was she going to be safe? Was she endangering everyone else there by attending?

  “What do I do, Noah? I have to go to work. I have a life.” She turned to watch his profile as he drove, struck as always by how fierce he looked. Then something occurred to her and she gasped. “Oh my God. Nonna. You have to check on Nonna. P-p-put her in protective custody or something. That psycho could be after her too.”

  Noah reached over and grabbed her hand. “She’s fine. I’ve had a friend watching her for years. I texted him while you were packing and there’s been nothing out of the ordinary tonight.”

  “Thank God.” Lucia sagged against the seat, the relief so overwhelming it brought tears to her eyes. She didn’t bother trying to stem the flow of tears as she imagined how differently things could have ended tonight. She was too exhausted to interrogate him about just who he had watching her grandmother. That was a fight for another day.

  Everything was crazy and she had no idea what she was going to do tomorrow, but she was safe right now. That was all she had to hang on to at the moment. And she knew that was all due to Noah.

  When Noah finally pulled into the underground parking garage in his building, Lucia was exhausted and wrung out from crying. He pulled around to his usual parking space and turned the car off. His face betrayed no surprise when he looked over and saw her in tears.

  “We’re going to get this son of a bitch. I promise you that I will not rest until you are safe.”

  “I know. You’ve always protected me.” She didn’t bring up the one day that he hadn’t protected her. It was confusing to love and hate him at the same time but it was simply too ingrained in her to think of him as a protector to turn it off now. She just wished she could turn the clock back three weeks to when life had been simple.

  She tried to smile but figured by the look on his face that she’d failed miserably. He grimaced and Lucia knew he was thinking of that beautiful and awful night when she’d discovered his secret.

  “I know this doesn’t mean much to you right now, especially in light of everything that’s happened. But I will die before I let anyone ever hurt you.”

  She knew he meant it. Anyone who wanted to hurt her was going to have to go through Noah first.

  Noah helped Lucia down from the Range Rover and his heart melted a little when she clung to him. His heart wasn’t the only thing feeling heated. This was the closest she’d let him get to her in weeks.

  He didn’t fool himself that she’d forgiven him. More than likely, she was in shock. He could barely remember the first time he’d truly feared for his life, but the emotions released when fighting were intense and Lucia had been sheltered all her life. She had no idea how to deal with something like this. The horror of having someone try to hurt her. He knew the terror she’d felt at seeing Ryan hurt because he felt the same way.

  He kept her close as they walked quickly to get inside the building and onto the elevator. It would be a lot easier to deal with things once he wasn’t on edge worried about Lucia’s safety. With all the guys there and the amount of security wired into the place, there was literally no safer place for her in the city.

  The inside of the loft was already busy. Matthias looked up from his computer when they entered, his eyes immediately going to Lucia. Noah shook his head slightly, hoping that the other man wouldn’t say anything about the attack. Lucia looked like she was about to break into a million pieces as it was.

  “Let’s get you settled,” he whispered to her.

  Noah held out his arm to indicate that she should precede him. He kept his gaze on the long fall of her hair so his eyes wouldn’t be tempted to stray any lower. Lucia was staying with him out of necessity only, not because she’d forgiven him or wanted to be with him. But a guy could hope.

  For the first time in his life he really loved someone. And someone loved him back. Just having even a taste of that, he wasn’t ready to let go of it. Deserving or not, he needed her. Needed her love.

  Maybe this was his penance for his sins, having the woman he loved right under his nose but still out of reach. She hadn’t spoken to him since that tense conversation in the car. He wanted to ask her more about the things she’d been digging into but this wasn’t the time. He’d wait until she’d had time to gain her equilibrium back before he asked the hard questions. That was not going to be an easy conversation.

  When they reached his room, Lucia shook her head slightly, finally seeming to notice her surroundings.

  “Um, Noah? Where am I going to stay?”

  He set her bag down on the floor next to his bed. “You can have my room. I don’t sleep much anyway, and when I need to crash I’ll take one of the spare bedrooms downstairs.”

  She sat down on the edge of the bed and ran her hands gently over the tangled sheets that he hadn’t bothered to straighten that morning. Noah shivered, watching her fingers tracing over the fabric. Why did that affect him as if she’d touched his bare skin?

  “I’ll get you some clean sheets.”

  She waved her hand impatiently. “I don’t care about that. You know I’m practical, and there’s no sense pretending I haven’t shared sheets with you before.”

  He watched as she stood and walked into the en suite bathroom. When she came out, she’d shed the oversized shirt she’d been wearing and was wearing only a tight camisole and panties.

  Noah swallowed hard. Oh Jesus fuck. His dick turned to steel. He fucking missed her. But she didn't need that right now. Right now she needed him to protect her. Right now, he had to earn her trust and her love again. If that was even possible.

  She climbed on the bed and pulled the sheets over her, pulling them up until they reached her chin. In that position she looked like a child. A terrified child.

  “Make yourself comfortable. I have to go brief the team on everything that happened so we can figure out a plan to get this guy.” The guy was a fucking ghost and finding him wouldn’t be easy, but there was no way he was telling Lucia that.

  Lucia nodded. “Okay. I’m just going to read and try to relax a little.”

  “Good. Text me if you need anything.”

  She hesitated for a moment. “Uh, Noah?”

  “Yeah, Lulu?”

  “Thank you. For today. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there.”

  He nodded. “You don’t have to thank me. Or any of the guys. And nothing’s going to happen to you. We’re going to see to that.”

  She burrowed deeper beneath the sheets until only the top of her head was visible. Noah backed out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

  Matthias looked up when he came back downstairs. “Is she okay?”

  “Not really but she will be. The sooner we figure out who’s behind this, the better. Have you heard from Jonas yet?”

  Matthias jerked his head in the direction of the conference room. “Yeah, he’s here.”

  “What?”

  Noah pushed past him and into the conference room. Jonas stood next to an exhausted and incapacitated Ryan, who was struggling to remain upright while a man wrapped gauze around his arm.

  “Seriously, Ry? You should be in the hospital.”

  Jonas rolled his eyes. “Already told him that. But Superman here thinks that all he needs is a Band-Aid and an aspirin before going back on the job. He woke up before they could get him in the ambulance and refused all further treatment.”

  Ryan pointed at the man working on his arm. “You joking? This is a flesh wound. You should see the other guy. Besides, I knew that Doctor Breckner does house calls. Tell ‘em I’m fine Doc.”

  Doctor Breckner didn’t look amused. “He’s not fine. He needs stitches and is slightly con
cussed. And his ribs are bruised. He’s lucky he didn't need surgery.”

  Ryan shrugged. “I’ve had worse. Doesn’t sound that bad to me.” When he saw their faces, he sighed. “Seriously, I’m fine. Is Lucia okay? I feel like shit Noah. I heard a noise, went in and motherfucker got the jump on me. I fucked that shit right up.”

  “No, you didn’t. You did your job. Anything you remember about him?”

  “Tall, like you, and fast. Well fucking trained. That was no run of the mill burglar. I cannot wait until we find that asshole. I have all kinds of payback in mind for him.”

  “You’re crazy man. And yes, Lucia is fine. We’re all fine. Do you remember anything else that might help us find the son of a bitch?”

  Ryan grumbled and cursed. “No. Which fucking pisses me off. Like I said, we fought. I got a few hits in, there was nothing else. Fuck, I’m not even sure how he got in the building. Next thing I know, I’m waking up on a gurney and this fool is telling me I’m on my way to the hospital.” Ryan pointed his thumb toward Jonas.

  Noah exchanged glances with Jonas. “Ryan is right. The guy was good. Better than good. We fought, no holds barred, and it was like he wasn’t even breaking a sweat.”

  “So I’m right? He’s a pro?” Ryan added.

  “Yeah, and if he could hold me off with my training and motivation, I guarantee he’s been trained by the best. And I promise you, he’s not done. He will be back, and we need to fucking be ready because I’m not losing Lucia.”

  A gasp from the doorway grabbed all of their attention. Noah turned and standing right behind Matthias was … Lucia.

  Shit.

  “Lucia, are you okay? Do you need anything?” He approached her slowly, happy when she allowed him to pull her into his arms. But when he tried to lead her from the room, she shook off his hold. Damn it. The last thing he had wanted was for her to hear any of that. “Why don’t we get you back to the room? You’ve had a hell of a day. Come on.”