Shameful (The Shameless Trilogy Book 2) Read online

  table of contents

  Back Cover

  Warning

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  About the Authors

  Copyright

  SHAMEFUL

  Book 2 of The Shameless Trilogy

  I am the thing that goes bump in the night. I am a liar, a protector ... a killer ... I am Noah Blake.

  And now that she knows my secret, she hates me.

  The guilt and shame I carry around is bad enough ... But seeing the distrust in her eyes—that will kill me before my enemies do …

  (The Shameless Trilogy unfolds over the course of three books. Book 1, Shameless will be followed by Book 2, Shameful and Book 3, Unashamed.)

  THIS IS BOOK 2 IN A TRILOGY

  You’ve already read Book 1 (Shameless) right?

  Just checking…

  chapter one

  * * THIS IS BOOK 2 - You’ve already read Book 1 (Shameless) right? Ok, just making sure :)

  The well of fury Lucia had been holding on to for weeks bubbled to the surface when she caught one whiff of the brunette in front of her. She tried to stay calm. Tried to push it all down. Tried to keep herself sane. But then she caught sight of Noah at the craft services table, and she lost it.

  "For the love of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Annabelle, I’ve told you a dozen times not to smoke before you come to a fitting,” Lucia all but screamed at the seventeen-year-old leggy giraffe in front of her.

  Annabelle's eyes went wide as she teared up. "I'm so sorry. I had a rough day. I was really stressed out. I found my boyfriend with my roommate in my bed after I got home last night. And the asshole tried to pretend like it was somehow my fault.”

  Lucia ground her teeth. “I’m sorry your boyfriend is a roommate-screwing ass. I really am. But it is both of our jobs to keep these clothes in pristine condition.”

  “I know. I know. I’ll try to keep it together,” Annabelle sobbed.

  Lucia ignored the twinge of guilt. Normally she could deal with models just fine. She didn’t usually fly off the handle. When everything was going well, she was affable and nice. Funny even. The models liked her. But nothing was normal anymore. After three weeks, two days and eight hours of Noah-I’m-A-frickin-liar Blake, everyone was terrified of her.

  And if she was telling the truth, she sort of liked the power. She liked the way people would scurry away when she walked into a room. But this simply couldn’t continue. This wasn’t her. She loved her job, what she did, and the people. As a kid, she’d poured over all her fashion magazines, wishing she could be part of this world. It had been her dream to work somewhere like this. She couldn’t let Noah take that away from her, too.

  He’d already taken far too much.

  With a deep breath and a silent prayer to the patron saint of would-be-murderers, Lucia sent Annabelle to scrub herself down with a washcloth. That skintight A-line dress would trap in the smoke emanating from her skin. The models knew better, and at this level they were professionals. They generally made more money than Lucia would ever see in her lifetime, if they took care not to piss off the bosses.

  “Don’t you think you were kind of hard on the kid? I mean you heard her. She had boyfriend trouble.”

  She turned around with a start and bumped directly into Noah's chest. "Damn it, Noah. Don’t you have somewhere better to be right now? And mind your own damn business."

  If this were the old Noah, he would've teased her, prodded her, and bugged her into talking to him. The old Noah was gone.

  He’d killed him, just like he’d killed Lucia’s brother.

  Lucia had once been so sure he cared about her and that he would always take care of her. But that wasn't the real Noah at all. This Noah was a monster, a monster she’d had the misfortune of sleeping with.

  Okay fine. Sleeping with him wasn’t the problem. His lies, and deceit, and cruelty were. The misfortune didn't come from sleeping with him, because that had been— Her body flushed, softened, and warmed at the thought of Noah touching her. So not going to go there.

  She wasn’t going to think about that part. What she was going to think about was the scar on his shoulder. The scar she knew she'd given him when she shot him.

  Lucia's stomach cramped when she thought about discovering Noah’s secret. The night they both finally admitted their feelings for each other and made love. He’d carried her into the bedroom where they’d talked and snuggled. She’d lain on his shoulder, enjoying the afterglow of knowing how Noah felt about her.

  And then she’d felt it, the rough, bumpy edge of a scar on his shoulder. She had never seen it before, because the first time they’d made love, it had been dark in the room. She'd been so focused on the intensity and the swirl of emotions, she hadn't noticed. He hadn’t taken his shirt off until it was pitch black in the room.

  But the second time, in the dimly lit room, she'd seen it and her memories had come crashing back. The chaos of that day, the chaos of that afternoon. A man with a gun, pointed at her brother. The sound of her own screaming. As the bullets rained holes in her brother's body, she’d been forced to make a decision. So she’d raised the gun her brother had given her for protection at the man who’d killed Rafe.

  She wasn't a very good shot, but she’d managed to hit him in the shoulder. For years, these memories had stayed buried in her mind. But now it had all come back. Before he tumbled down, she’d seen the profile of the killer’s face. Noah. All along, it was Noah. The man she loved had been responsible for ending her whole world.

  The man she’d loved for so long was the same one who had ruined her life.

  Now, she was stuck with him because her life was supposedly in danger. From who or what, no one seemed to know. She didn't have all the answers and she didn't know the whole story, because no one would tell her. She'd even gone to her grandmother in the hopes of getting some help.

  She wanted to go to the police, to get justice for Rafe, but Nonna had sided with Noah. All she’d told Lucia was that there were things she didn't understand. What the hell was that supposed to mean? She understood perfectly well. The man she thought she loved had betrayed her and then lied about it for years.

  Lucia was surrounded by betrayal. Now there was no shaking Noah. Lucia knew her life was in danger. It was true, but her grandmother refused to go to the FBI with her. And as Lucia had no proof, there wasn’t anything that could be done. She was stuck with Noah; a man she didn't trust; a man who lied to her for years. The man she’d thought she loved.

  "You can give me that sourpuss expression all you want, I'm not leaving you."

  She whipped around to glare at him. "You have a whole team. You can’t send one of the others?"

  He shrugged, "Sorry, princess. My guys have actual work to do. Looping you into protection detail actually puts strain on them."

  "Oh, I have an idea. Why don't you stop?"

  Noah took a step forward, crowding her. She had no choice but to take a step back. When he didn't stop, she backed straight into a wall. With Noah looming over her, his heat enveloped her. She made the mistake of inhaling deep. The scent of sandalwood and something spicy injected her bloodstream with lust.

  Bad idea.

  She immediately started remembering everything about him that she wa
s trying to forget. The tenderness of how she felt in his arms. The way he whispered her name softly when they made love. The way he held her tight, his hands tracing over every inch of her skin. She whimpered.

  He leaned close and whispered, "Because I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He straightened and took a deliberate step away from her before adding, "You can be rid of me when we get back to your apartment."

  "I can’t wait,” she ground out.

  Every cell in her body hated him. Loathed him even. Liar. She should hate him. But she didn’t. She loved him. Still. Even knowing what he had done. That he’d betrayed Rafe, betrayed her, and betrayed her whole family. God, the lies he’d fed her over the years. So many lies.

  But despite that, she still freaking loved him. And she missed him with a bone-deep ache. The kind that had her crying herself to sleep every night. She wished she could pretend it was the sex she missed. The comfort of his body. No. It was his laugh and his teasing. And the way he always made her feel safe.

  Before that night, she’d never had any reason to fear him. But once she’d touched that scar, pulled the layers back on his secrets, she knew the truth. He was that thing that went bump in the night. He was her worst nightmare. And there was no coming back from that knowledge.

  Noah tossed his hands up in the air. "Lucia, I hope you know we can do this forever as far as I'm concerned. No way am I letting anything happen to you. So, I know you're mad and you have a right to be, but you need to understand your safety supersedes everything else. You don't like it? Tough. But I'm here to stay."

  She glared up at him. There had to be another way because if she spent another day in Noah Blake's company, she was going to turn into the murderer.

  Noah led the way into Lucia's apartment building. As she scowled at him, he bit back irritation and pushed down his guilt. After all, she had a point. She had every reason to hate him. Noah just wished it didn't hurt so much.

  Anytime she glared at him or purposely avoided his touch, he was reminded of what he was. Who he was. There was no changing that now. All he could do was try and keep her safe. He’d been foolish to wish for more. Completely insane to think that she could love him.

  Immediately the hair on the back of Noah’s neck stood up. Something was off. The camera he had placed directly in front of the elevator was turned to the side as if someone had very deliberately pointed it that way. He put a hand on Lucia’s elbow to stop her. She glared down at it.

  "Can you relax? Stay behind me, be quiet, and take off those damn shoes."

  "Why would I take off my shoes?" she hissed.

  He shot her a glance as he pulled his gun out of his holster. "Because you can't run in those heels."

  Her eyes widened, but she did what she was told. She shoved them into her purse and then cleverly slung her purse across her body.

  Smart girl. She’d be able to move quicker that way.

  He had to fight the urge to run, the urgency to get her to the safety of her apartment. Instead, he deliberately slowed the pace. As they turned the corner, he noted the other camera next to the stairwell. It was also turned up.

  Why the hell hadn’t Ryan reported that?

  It wasn't until they rounded the next corner to the right that he saw why. Ryan was slumped forward in his seat next to Lucia’s door. Either asleep—or worse. And from the looks of it, it seemed much, much worse. Like he’d been bent and broken and put like that.

  Lucia took one look at Ryan and ignored Noah's warnings. She tried to sprint ahead but Noah reached out and grabbed her wrist, halting her. He shook his head.

  “But he's hurt!"

  "Look at him, Lucia. Can you see his face?"

  "No."

  "So, how do you know it's him?"

  Her beautiful face twisted with worry, then she did exactly as he wanted and shifted behind him. Noah approached cautiously. As they got closer, he saw the ring that Ryan wore on his middle finger. It was simple and silver. Noah was one of the few people who knew the ring’s significance. Ryan never took it off.

  Noah crouched beside the kid, checking his pulse. There was one, but weak. He’d been knocked out. He lifted his plain black shades and saw the contusions around Ryan’s eye. To top it all off, blood was running out of Ryan’s nose onto his dark suit. Lucia handed him several napkins and Noah did what he could to plug the leak. Then he noticed Lucia’s door was ajar.

  "I need you to stay here." He bent to his ankle holster and gave Lucia a gun. “Can you use this?"

  She tilted her head and glared up at him. "You have a scar on your shoulder that proves I can."

  Noah gritted his teeth. "Point-and-shoot at anyone that comes out of that door that isn’t me. Hell, if you have to, shoot me too. Just make sure you put holes in whoever it is. While you're waiting, call Matthias and send out an S.O.S. We’re going to need some transport. I won't be able to carry Ryan all the way back to my car. They’re better off picking us up out front. Watch your back. Do you understand?"

  She nodded. Even as she swallowed hard, he saw her lift her jaw and square her shoulders. She was scared but she wasn’t crumbling. She didn’t ask inane questions, scream, or worse, cry. His respect for her shot through the roof. But he didn't have time to think about that. Without sparing her a second glance, he slipped into her apartment.

  It was dark, but there was someone here. Noah could feel him. He couldn't explain it, but he knew he wasn't alone in the apartment. The real question was, where was this asshole?

  He didn't have to wait long for an answer, because the moment he stepped into Lucia's living room, something shifted on his left. Noah narrowly missed being hit by one of Lucia’s Dana Decker candles. Suddenly the intruder crashed it into the left wall of the kitchen, leaving a dent in the drywall as he tried to brain Noah with it.

  Noah wasted no time, rotating on the ball of his foot and throwing a punch that landed with satisfying efficiency. Crunch. Instead of crouching, howling, or even muttering a curse word, the fucker remained silent. His head snapped backward then slid back into place as if Noah hadn't even landed one. This was no average burglar; this guy was a pro.

  They circled each other in the living room like caged lions seeking a time advantage. Then it was on. His assailant applied a series of roundhouse kicks, and Noah caught one to the ribs.

  Shit. That hurt, though it was probably not broken. He kept his vision on the guy.

  The intruder was nearly his height. Being several inches over six feet, Noah was used to towering over most people, but this guy was just as big so the advantage of his reach was nullified. For anything truly worthwhile, Noah had to get up close and way too personal for comfort.

  Throwing a series of combination kicks and punches and having only one or two land, he ducked the kicks and throws sent his way. He fought for Lucia. No way was he letting this guy hurt her.

  Noah took one step in and came up with his right elbow, hitting the guy’s chin. This one was the hardest punch of all, landing the unwelcome guest on Lucia’s end tables, covering him in shards of broken wood.

  Noah pressed his advantage as his assailant lay on the floor. Even as he approached, the guy had his head up, swiveling, following Noah’s movements. As Noah approached, the guy shoved out a kick that landed high on Noah's thigh. The move was familiar to him as if the other fighter wanted to injure him, but not kill him.

  The move was practiced and skilled enough that Noah knew he would be sporting a bruise for the next week or so. Although, the guy hadn't hit him in the knee. Noah would have never recovered from something like that.

  Noah didn't have the same compulsion to preserve the other guy’s life. He was here to hurt Lucia, which meant Noah had no qualms about killing him. He grabbed his foot, and the assailant kicked with the foot in Noah's hand while sweeping Noah off his feet with the other one. Noah had no choice; he landed on his ass but was back up in a second, as was his assailant.

  They were like mirror images of each other. As one pushe
d his hands to the left, the other pushed his hands to the right.

  This guy seemed to have had karate or jujitsu training. Given his kicks, tae kwon do, too. For what felt like another hour but was most likely mere minutes, they exchanged elbows and fists as they grappled, both trying to get the other to the ground to submit.

  Hell, this is almost fun. All Noah wanted in the end was to pull the mask off.

  If this guy was ORUS, that explained why he was trying to preserve Noah's life.

  "You don't have to do this. Just leave."

  The guy landed an elbow that jarred Noah so hard he could hear his teeth rattling in his mouth. That was all that was needed to roll him onto his back with an arm bar across his neck. Noah turned his head to alleviate the pressure on his trachea, but all the while, he threw punches. Planting his heels, he tried to use his hips to buck the jackhole off of him.

  But suddenly there was a crash, and the guy was no longer raining fists on his face. He was trying to shake something off of the back of his neck. Noah risked injury to his trachea and turned his head. And sheer horror slashed through him.

  Lucia.

  Why the hell can’t she ever listen?

  Even though he was pissed at her, Noah still used her distraction to his advantage. As she tried to wrap her arm around the other guy’s neck, he used the opportunity to land hard fists in his face. That was all the advantage he needed. With Lucia choking the guy from behind and him using the leverage to push the dude off and jump back to his feet, they had him dead to rights. But then the guy twisted, shoving Lucia backward onto the couch. She landed with a hard bounce and a curse. The guy turned his attention back to Noah and pulled him in with two hands around the back of his neck. Noah knew he intended to hit him straight in the gut. He knew where that knee was going. But instead of using his knee, the guy extended his foot, and sent it straight for the family jewels.